Another Poetical Outburst

Image Attribution: Creative Commons, “Bluemoon ” by Craig Deakin from Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

Man In The Moon

The Man In The Moon will be speaking soon

So I hope you’ll be paying attention

If you lend your ear to his merry tune

You might even get a mention

Ah there he is coming past

From his place behind a cloud

He will simply smile if you look aghast

Your misgiving is allowed

Good evening Sir I welcome you

With your gloss on the heavenly word

We know that your statements are always true

Dispute is quite absurd

So lay on good fellow I’ve said enough

Give us your thoughts to peruse

As life with the virus has been very tough

We long to hear your news

Why it is my joy to speak tonight

And I thank you for the greeting

I hail you all with sheer delight

It is a pleasant meeting

There is much ado to share with you

In the world beneath my gaze

It’s surprising what some humans will do

As they blunder through their days

Take the climate for instance there’s little insistence

Despite the disastrous storming

The nincompoops rave with a ton of resistance

To the facts of global warming

They claim the scientist is a liar

With little grasp of the weather

When they talk the same way about drought and fire

You can knock me down with a feather

And then there’s oil lying safe in the soil

But struck it makes so much money

When it starts to boil it makes me recoil

The turmoil is far from funny

Now I’m just beginning to speak of this sinning

And put my watertight  case

Despite human thinning the stock market’s winning

While the poor can’t get to first base

And every morning at the dawning

When you breathe the foul air’s smudge

With smoke as a warning yet marketeers fawning

How can you not hold a grudge?

Another complaint I need to make

Is that rainforest gets destroyed

When they savage the trees for money’s sake

I’m extravagantly annoyed

Yet one other thought has more sad features

Because of the anguish of fire

It cremates so many beautiful creatures

As tomorrow dies on the pyre

The time has come to gently refrain

Even though I’ve more to say

The sun will soon rise yet again

To herald another day

So it’s good luck to you whatever you do

I am very pleased to have met you

I hope that my moonstruck hullabaloo 

Did not at this meeting upset you

And now I say toodeloo…


Public Relations

So that’s it

You want to get somewhere

Be a success 

Without the distress

That rains upon lesser mortals

It’s the reason that you’re here I assume

To discover a way to the top

Well let me see

I think we can talk 

First, all good deeds must stop

Next concept: you need a plan

An agenda of powerful devotions

Remote from rival emotions

Such as service to humanity

Then you cover your own inanity

With attacks on your rivals’ sanity

While you give to yourself a fair image

That may indeed not be real

But will always seem to be…

Now I note you need more advice from me

As great triumph is your aim

Why, keep it simple stupid

It is all a part of a game

Catchy abuse hurled often, can tear a foe to pieces

Opportunity never ceases

So don’t miss a chance to curse

And then you should immerse yourself

In the glory of a media story

Nurse a child, shake an old man’s hand

Wear a big hat as you traverse the land

Drink a schooner of beer in a pub

Chat with a group, and here’s the rub

Always wear a glowing smile…

Never miss an opportunity

To be seen with a doting community

Wear a hard hat in a factory

Prove your health satisfactory

By going for a swim in the surf

To reduce alarm when you visit a farm

Pick up a piece of turf

All this is par for the course

But you clearly need a horse with a different gait

If you are to manipulate Fate

Note well my friend in your quest for fame

There’s one more condition that’s linked to the game

It’s fear

Panic, terror, dread, distress are golden reasons to use duress

More sharp as a weapon than any

So create a foe who’s on the go

A danger feared by many

Lurking there, no everywhere,

Publish that threat to your welfare

Then when this foe becomes one of your tools

You can break the rules in a folly of fools

It’s like riding the waves on a porpoise

As you take away all human rights

And abandon habeas corpus

So work for that end my ambitious friend

Your struggle will then be over

You will have unlimited power

As you look down on the fields of clover

From an unassailable tower


The Further Adventures Of Simple Simon

Simple Simon met a pieman,

Going to the fair;

Says Simple Simon to the pieman,

Let me taste your ware.

Says the pieman to Simple Simon,

Show me first your penny;

Says Simple Simon to the pieman,

Indeed I have not any.

So Simple Simon went to a bank

Hoping to get a loan

When they asked him for security

He said he was on his own

Said the banker to Simple Simon

Get a fine racehorse and feed it

If it wins you’ll learn what everyone knows

We lend only when you don’t need it

Simple Simon sought to take part

In a very recent election

They addled his brain again and again

To influence his selection

When the big day came he cast his vote

According to what they said

Those fools won power and turned things sour

Then he felt not right in the head

Simple Simon wanted to learn

At a well known university

He sought to study a long held delight

In the midst of that diversity

Said the bursar to Simple Simon

You have in your hands the wrong knob

Don’t pay so much for history

As it won’t get you a job

Simple Simon now getting old

Was looking for a pension

His clothes were worn and the weather was cold

His health was worth a mention

Said the statesman to simple Simon

It’s the truth and I can’t fudge it

You’ll have no juicy steaks to carve

Because of our balanced budget

Simple Simon had had enough

He was weary of life’s harsh ways

All he wanted was a bit of peace

To help him through his last days

So Simple Simon went to church

Heard the vicar speak of things sinister

Cheer up old friend the cleric said

You could be the Prime Minister

Simple Simon was lost for words

Still finding life hard to live…

He went for water in a sieve

But soon it all fell through

And now poor Simple Simon

Bids you all adieu!


Friends Of The Jolly Miller

And this the burden of his song

Forever used to be,

I care for nobody, no not I,

And nobody cares for me

From: The Jolly Miller Nursery Rime

O I am a student

And I struggle with my debts

All the live long day

So my right to learn

Rests on what I can earn

What more can I say?

O I am a nurse

And I work for a song

Even though my day is long

Many souls I save

From an early grave

What more can I say?

O I am a teacher

I strive for perfection

And struggle to make a connection

But my piddling wage

Is the sin of the age

What more can I say?

O I’m a paramedic

Every day I strive

To keep damaged souls alive

But my income is too low

I wish it wasn’t so

What more can I say?

O I’m a social worker

And my pay is meagre

Yet I am most eager

To save both kith and kin

From their lifelong poverty spin

What more can I say?

O I am a rhymer

And I strive with rigour 

To write with vim and vigour

Although I try

It’s just pie in the sky

What more can I say?



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