Fake News

Here’s a little poem I wrote in a fit of recent despair. If it drives you mad, please don’t be sad or tear out the roots of your hair.

Fake News

The sun rose at noon today at its dawning

And all senators now tell the truth

Wild birds flew backwards into this morning

Now the city takes care of its youth

That whale danced a jig on Bondi Beach

Our border’s not a barbed wire fence

The Chopard Blue Diamond was a seed in a peach

Now when lying, CEOs recompense

A cartoon has become Migrant Minister

All schools’ resources are equal

Now the Irish have conquered Westminister

And no WMDs have a sequel

The Town Clock played jazz in the afternoon

While all lawyers served their clients free

A firebug set fire to the silver moon

Wrong investment advice has no fee

A cuckoo sang the lead in Bach’s chorus

Junk food does not fatten your daughter

They kill ten and it’s news; thousands die they ignore us!

That reporter’s an exporter of the slaughter

Now before we end, here my friend are the headlines

To logic and truth we holdfast

As the mania for profit at this end declines

We live in a peace unsurpassed

The End (Of the Start)

__________

NOW HERE IS SOME FAKE FAKE NEWS TO BRIGHTEN OUR MISERABLE DAYS A LITTLE

Image Attribution: the wonderful CREATIVE COMMONS.

_________

Canbury Friday. From Lofty Price, our Political Correspondent:

The Treasurer gave a moving speech on Friday at the Cut Back The Nonsense Small Business Conference at Winterhill.  Here are his closing remarks…

We stand for freedom. We must lift the chains on small business. To Hell with Political Correctness. Here I stand for the good of the economy. This is my station for the greatness of my nation.

The Treasurer’s Mission Statement

Image Source Creative Commons

Sunday, Heron Atoll. From Pinocchio Pressbutton, our finance reporter:

A vast crowd of overseas and local visitors attended the opening on Sunday of the Barrier Reef Silver Lead and Zinc Mine. There was movement at that station since the word had passed around that the dolt from our regret had held his sway.

One of the great Free Trade Agreements of modern times was completed on this Sunday. The Minister For Trade, Heberton Mydeal,  used these words:

A new era has begun today for our great nation. Jobs will grow and profit will flow to levels hitherto undreamed of. The Government is proud of this achievement. The future is ours to seize. Now and for evermore. 

The Process Of Negotiations Observed

n-CORRUPTION-large570

Image Source Creative Commons

Tuesday 13th At High Noon. Reporter Martial Raleigh, War Correspondent:

Today’s Commemoration Ceremony was very moving. Old men with medals multiples seemed to dominate the numbers as the young were away, most likely in Afghanistan.. The dominant speaker however was a woman: Lucretia Borderkill, a Splintergroupie, who seems to attend these occasions whenever possible.

Her words had a ring of battle about them. She spoke very loudly and was appreciated most warmly by those who were listening yet busy doing something else — knitting or doing calculations on iPhones. Political commentators suggest Lucretia’s loud volume is critical to her success as followers find it convenient to listen only to the words and focus meaning on something else. Thus split attention is possible which saves both time and effort.  Lucretia’s loudest words received wild applause from her supporters, especially the delegates from the Lithgow Small Arms Factory.

My fellow citizens. Danger is everywhere. I am the voice of the people. I am not interested in others. My only concern is us. Why do I say this?

Well my dear ordinary people like me it’s your interests I care about. Nobody else does. I will stand up for you. I will fight for you.

Yes I will fight to ban the thong. That dangerous thing that the others wear often falls off their feet. What happens then?

Why, they tread on seedlings with bare feet and ruin our crops. My friends this has got to end. And on this day I promise you it will. 

(Loud cheering and repetition of the slogan)

Ban the thong! Ban the thong! Ban the thong!

Thank you my friends. Thank you.

Finally, I have had my Deputy Con King go out into the fields researching the trouble. I have had multiple copies of one incident he captured because it sums up our dangers terribly well. Take it home and show it to your children so that all generations can unite in their purity. Have faith in us as we are you and you are we. All hail to our country. All hail to our land! Our life! Our country! All hail!

(More extremely loud cheering)

Con King’s Image

Image Source Creative Commons

Thursday February 29. Reporter Peter Owt, Finance Editor:

GST is dominating the news today. The nation is rort by conflict between the states concerning fair share GST justice. At the last COAG meeting state treasurers came to many verbal blows. At the ensuing press conference the attractive, buxom, first female federal treasurer, Lucy Lullham, known to some as “Private Eyes,” was forced to make an extremely didactic speech.

It was very long of necessity so I shall simply repeat her constant chorus: Get it right! Her powerful message was beautifully reinforced by a visual theme she supplied, here appended.

pie chart_0_0

Image Source Creative Commons

Wednesday March 15. Reporter Verity Candour, Literary Editor:

Dear Reader

There is little doubt this will be my last story. I was  warned way back in 2003, with the Iraq invasion piece I did, not to swim so openly against the tide. Until now I have kept my obedient silence.

Today I must speak. Why? The reason is the current blatant attempt in Australia to make violent speech legal. Here is a quote.

Section 18C of the Racial Discrimination Act makes it unlawful for someone to do an act that is reasonably likely to “offend, insult, humiliate or intimidate” someone because of their race or ethnicity.

Section 18D of the Racial Discrimination Act contains exemptions which protect freedom of speech. These ensure that artistic works, scientific debate and fair comment on matters of public interest are exempt from section 18C, providing they are said or done reasonably and in good faith.

Those words are from the Australian Human Rights Commission. As you can see, Section 18c clearly protects freedom of speech already!

Here then is the visual part of the story. My last.

Look at him.

5757504378_51e25a1800_o-1200x850

Image Source Creative Commons

This kind of anger. Does it need to be protected as freedom of speech? Should this state of mind that you see be permitted to  “offend, insult, humiliate or intimidate”? Is “harass” enough protection for us all, and especially the vulnerable? Incidentally, that word “harass” derives from the French “to set a dog on.”

Is that face not the dog itself?

So it’s goodbye from Verity and it’s goodbye from me,

r.

Incompetent Scientists Trumped

Bilge

Creative Commons Is Our Image Source

Vale Global Warming AKA Climate Change

NOTE WELL:The Hogwash, Bilge, Claptrap And Hooey Are Over

AT LAST OUR REALITY IS VERIFIED, VALIDATED AND ENDORSED

All Hail to Post Truth!

Now we can put the lies of 98% of the world’s scientists in their rightful place.

Look at this example of what we can now cast aside forever…

Scientific evidence for warming of the climate system is unequivocal.- Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change

The current warming trend is of particular significance because most of it is very likely human-induced and proceeding at a rate that is unprecedented in the past 1,300 years.1

Earth-orbiting satellites and other technological advances have enabled scientists to see the big picture, collecting many different types of information about our planet and its climate on a global scale. This body of data, collected over many years, reveals the signals of a changing climate.

The heat-trapping nature of carbon dioxide and other gases was demonstrated in the mid-19th century.2 Their ability to affect the transfer of infrared energy through the atmosphere is the scientific basis of many instruments flown by NASA. There is no question that increased levels of greenhouse gases must cause the Earth to warm in response.

Ice cores drawn from Greenland, Antarctica, and tropical mountain glaciers show that the Earth’s climate responds to changes in greenhouse gas levels. Ancient evidence can also be found in tree rings, ocean sediments, coral reefs, and layers of sedimentary rocks. This ancient or paleoclimate evidence reveals that current warming is occurring roughly ten times faster than the average rate of ice-age-recovery warming.3

The evidence for rapid climate change is compelling:

If you want to read more of this claptrap go here.

Ah but the folly of all the rot, moonshine, hooey, garbage is over now. The recent brave, dramatic act of the Australian Treasurer:  holding up before the cameras a piece of coal as a stage prop, is now bearing fruit.

Yes It’s All Over! Scientism Bites The Dust!

We now have the world’s most powerful ally.

2016-08-08-1470670721-3250713-donaldtrump
Image From Creative Commons

President Donald Trump Agrees With Us…

Wow! What an ally!

Take a windswept look at this:

President Trump’s proposed budget plan calls for a $100 million cut in funding for climate change programmes. 

Office of Management and Budget Director Mick Mulvaney said during a press conference: “We’re not spending money on that anymore” because he said federal climate change programmes are a “waste of your [tax] money.”

Wow! Wow! Wow! Now he is spreading the word around the world. Jobs! Jobs for the miners and coal CEOs will follow.It’s great!  Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great!

Yes! The Age of Action at last has arrived, thank Gold;

Truth and Certainty.

Now it’s goodbye from me and it’s goodbye to stormy weather,

r.