We Have A Plan
When bad men combine, the good must associate;
else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice
in a contemptible struggle.
Edmund Burke
O we know the secrets of monetary wrangling
To govern we have a plan
Our political game won’t stop at a mangling
Of the truth since time began
So we pander to the rich with tax relief
And ignore the needs of age care
Cut back on health beyond belief
And our wages policy’s not fair
Unemployment is low but the jobs are part time
And the cost of living’s excessive
Home violence is an unsolved crime
While our market for child care’s recessive
The virus has led us to stark machinations
Giving rise to lies by the score
We have been too late with vaccinations
And our testing was bungled what’s more
So vote for us soon and give us your push
For we are the devil you know
A nerd in the hand is worth two in the bush
Now’s your chance to make this so
Military-Industrial Complex
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
H. L. Mencken
There’s money in war
Foes bring profits galore
Each conflict down the pages of history
Draws an income that is no mystery
Keep our nation safe is a lucrative cry
Munitions bring proceeds no one can deny
Though people will die, it’s the earnings that count
With utter denial of the Sermon On The Mount
All bombs are deadly effacements
But there’s lucre to be made from replacements
Soldiery means income so launch propaganda
Go into battle where rivals meander
Dead opponents mean cash in a manner chilling
There’s a mint to be made from every killing
Praise the dead at each opportunity
Give medals to heroes with stark impunity
Sound your trumpets and erect your shrines
Jail pacifists now or hit them with fines
Twist the truth via helpful media
On earth now there is no one greedier
Collect your winnings from each soldier’s last breath
As you corporatise each Valley of Death
Days shall not weary you nor the years condemn
Riches await you, so carpe diem*
*Seize the day
I’ve Always Been Very Consistent
I’ve always been very consistent
When found out
I lie constantly
Especially at press conferences
I am rude to women privately
While publicly I am a perfect gentleman
I never admit mistakes
It’s my standard practice to blame someone else
Condemnation flows from my tongue like climate change rain
But when I am rebuked I walk away
At times of crisis
I am never on time with a remedy
Although
I always have a plausible excuse
I despise the working class, reducing their wages
While I give huge tax deductions to my corporate soul mates
I build car parks only for my friends
Old people annoy me furiously
So I neglect them with great care and perseverance
I do not hesitate to break a contract
Even though
A consequence is a loss of billions
A strong economy is my catchcry
So I invest in oil, coal and weaponry
While to foster that neoliberal marketplace
I ignore the welfare of the poor and infirm
And reduce education funding to a pittance
After this revelatory description
I am sure you can guess who I am
This Election Is About The Economy
Our economy is strong
Triple A rating
Four percent unemployment
An example to the whole world
Because
Some salaries create slave labour
Part time work demands two or more jobs
Hospitals are underfunded
Age care is even worse
Less fortunate still is education
Child care bankrupts families
Costs make the living stay hungry
Home sweet home is too often a fanciful dream
Accountability eludes the favoured ones
As reality dies
Corporations mind their own business
And control policies
The rich get richer and the poor get taxed
Fraudulent politics go unfettered
Global warming is diligently funded
While weather forecasts foretell more disaster
Weapons industries flourish
And lies are the secret code of the captain to the troops
So vote now to maintain
This best of all possible worlds
We Are A Pro-forestry Government
We are a pro-forestry government
And it’s jobs jobs jobs
Our axes are sharp and our chain saws thunder
The way we get timber is a wonder
As we cut down trees
Once saplings when Columbus was a boy
Wood is good and recyclable
We don’t care what those activists say
Don’t listen to their negative voices
It’s at work that the axeman rejoices
To Hell with photosynthesis
Who cares if trees turn CO2
Into oxygen without ado?
They use the energy of the sun
To clean our polluted air
But we do not care
Forests are the havens of many living things
No problem the death that cutting down brings
So there, and that is the value of Arbor Day
To increase the volume of the logger’s pay
What we cut down has brought on the rain
And made our place look like the Nullarbor Plain
But although the heart of each bark-hugger sank
We all stood tall on our way to the bank
I Designed The Boat Turn-back Policy
I designed the boat turn-back policy
It’s all my work and I’m proud of it
Refugees are my source of promotion
I spread the lie
That there was a queue
Even though it didn’t exist
I ignored the international law
Refugees have a right of entry
I devised a scheme of indefinite detention
Implementing it without compassion
Habeas corpus meant nothing to me
Year after year after year after year
People were to suffer the detention I condoned
Even suicide or self harm of my victims
Failed to soften my rigour
I knew that racism exists today
Often secretive
Although the White Australia Policy
Is evidence that inspires me
I know recent success of extremists shows
There are votes in it
I understand too that dangerous entry by plane
Is possible
But the people-smuggler game plan
Is a convenient subterfuge to validate my cruel procedures
Promote the myth of border security
And get votes
Yes I agree, my brilliant scheme
Has been very costly
And diverted funds from health and aged care
Education and climate policy
But of course economic management is my strength
And I have covered my tracks well
So vote for me because unemployment is down
royciebaby