Hail Caesar Tin-pot Leader

Now Tin-pot Caesar

Was a smart geyser

Destined to rule the land

His methods were naughty

While he was so haughty

And decidedly underhand

One of his tools

Was the Roman schools

Where teachers taught loyalty to him

If they didn’t follow

What told to swallow

Their prospects would be simply dim

Another misdeed 

All linked to his greed

Was to make the country great

But his lies hit the roof

He was so aloof

That the land met a far worse fate

For the people starved

Their income halved

And many were horribly sick

Then the climate turned worse

It became a vile curse

So Tin-pot tried a new trick

It had nothing to do with the weather

This will knock you down with a feather

The mighty boss said we’ll be right by the fall

Then to cure all the sadness

In a blind fit of madness

The fool built a useless wall


Flawed Affection

Look at you

In your position of power

Over the fate of others

Part of university life

Absolute mastery

Exploiting completely


A vulnerable young woman

Wrapped in your program of study

How witty you are

You with your knowledge

First base to me 

A stepping stone to a social contract

With me

One thing leads to another

A different allegiance 

How lucky I am

To be so close to you

You and I are we

For all the world to see

You with me

That is a way of putting it

A periphrastic study

Of reality

See how you organise me

Control is a role

I cannot deny

You with me are one

Time clarifies things

Influence mastery domination

A way to my salvation

Not so

The truth is pain

Again and again and again

Annulment: without hesitation



Jeremiah Jones was a principal

Head of a famous old school

He strove to be close to invincible

Obedience was his rule

Every prefect 

Was alert for a defect

That damaged the school’s reputation

And each teacher

Was an orderly creature

Moral by imputation

Now life is strange

It can rearrange

And get up to tricks unexpected

So it came to pass

In a lower class

That a felony was detected

This event was a reason for change

In the way the school was run

Giving learning a more valid range

As a new era was begun

It was Teddy Tomkins of the junior school

Son of a chemist with status

Teddy did a deed that broke every rule

And caused a significant hiatus

The story ran thus with a great deal of fuss

Concerning the boy’s lawless tactics

He was doing deals with his classmates thus

Selling them prophylactics

When the word got around

That business was sound

It threw the staff into a panic

That ship they sailed had indeed run aground

It may well have been the Titanic

Now the boy was drawn from out of the ranks

In a way that couldn’t be faster

The words that were used were censored blanks

From the highly irate headmaster

Now Tomkins was au fait with the world

And coped well with the abuse

He stood quite tall when the slander was hurled

And dreamed up a clever excuse

Balloons he claimed was all they were

Balloons to check the weather

I’m doing research on the climate Sir

Science teachers and me together

Now Jones as the boss was not at a loss

Despite the convolution

That thought from the boy was coming across

As a highly useful solution

Good idea he said go into the lab

And fill them all up with helium

This will solve with a single grab

The present distasteful tedium

So the deed was done and measurements begun

To check the current weather

The condoms were filled up one by one

Until they were light as a feather

Then out through the window they were cast away

As a plan to protect the school’s name

It still has a very fine standing today

While Teddy’s in their Hall of Fame

Sex education is now programmed

With seminars every week

The boys have peace where once they were damned

What more could they seek?

But up in the sky when the sun is high

You might gain a new perspective

You may see an eagle daring to fly

Outdone by a contraceptive


Counterfeit Freedom

Give me liberty or give me death

I’ll defy lockdowns with my very last breath

I know my rights if you take me to task

I’ll fight for impunity without a mask

How dare you put a fine on me for meeting with my friends

You’ll get from me resistance from now that never ends

To hell with all your orders demanding a safe distance

My will power is quite strong enough to counter your insistence

Freedom is a church that needs a towering steeple

You should know it’s a human excuse to infect other people

I’ve spent so many days creating self rule

If you rob me of it you are but a fool

My vital cause is noble so keep your police away

If they should lay their hands on me it is you who’ll pay

And there’s another evil that is your ghastly quirk

You have pulled the levers to take away my work

You have ruined my sport 

As a last resort and done away with the crowd

You’d dig up all the cricket pitches if that were allowed

So there you have it described at last my true picture

Of the ways you bind me up in your deadly stricture

I bid you now stay ready for more words that will inspire us

I’ll be back to say them as soon as they’ve cured my virus


The Doings Of Nicely Nicely

Nicely Nicely is an entrepreneur

Intent on making a bundle

He forces his clients with a grin to concur

Reducing life’s progress to a trundle

Slowly he preaches and then overreaches

Promising the world if you buy

He would if he could sell our harbours and beaches

Wrapped up as pie in the sky

Every day come hail or shine we are incited to pay

Extremely extravagant prices

He brings his lies right into play

While we’re left to our own devices

Now Nicely Nicely has made his pile

By applying his skills quite cunningly

He makes his approach with a glamorous smile

As he reaps the profit stunningly

But there is a secret people should know

In a case decidedly sinister

This tyro with a biro always on the go

Is the soul mate of the prime minister

Who passes laws that fill Nicely’s drawers

To match how the businessman lobbies

And so it goes with so many encores

You might see them as lucrative hobbies

If you read the press you would never guess

This is such a cause of privation

All leadership speeches state with finesse

It’s all for the good of the nation

So there we have it a profiteer’s dreams

That hat fits as Nicely’s best size

He wins with all his devious schemes

In the name of free enterprise



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